I've been staring at this empty page for a while. Not quite sure how to put into words what's been on my heart for so long. So, forgive me if this gets long. I've decided to just start writing, and let God guide me as I tell this part of my story.
In church, we always hear "God is always with you." And He is. God doesn't turn his back on us. Ever. I know that to be true. When I made the decision to return to church a few years ago after nearly 15 years of ignoring Him. And, I was reminded again of this fact very recently. God is always with you. But, sometimes, He has to let you walk alone.
I remember when my oldest started High School last year. He and I have always had a special relationship. We've been through a lot together in his 15 years on this earth. On his first day, my heart broke. He was at the beginning of one of the most influential journey's of his life. His life was just beginning. He would learn who he was inside the halls of that school. Nothing I could say or do would replace the lessons he was about to learn. And I had to let him walk those halls alone. I was with him in spirit, but I couldn't learn the lessons for him. I couldn't make the choices for him. I had to let him walk alone.
Sometimes, God has to let us walk down the halls alone. We have to learn the lessons and make the choices on our own. He has to step back and hope that He has given us the tools we need to make the most of that moment. But, even though He steps back, we are never out of His reach. Much like I waited on the porch after school each day for my kids, God is waiting on the porch for us to come Home to Him.
No matter how long it takes.
I strayed last year. I forgot who I was. I forgot whose Daughter I was. I ignored God, even when He tried to teach me valuable lessons. I ended up in trouble more times than I could count. I got well aquainted with the law enforcement in our town due to who I was choosing to hang around with. I was broken down and defeated. I was on a path that God had never intended me to be on. But, He had to let me walk that path alone. He was never out of reach though. He didn't turn his back on me. He had to let me make the choices I made and learn the very painful lessons I learned. Though the halls were lonely and dark, I had to walk that hall alone. But, at the end of it all, when I decided to come Home, God was waiting on the porch. He was waiting to hear about my life. Waiting for me to reach out to Him and just be held.
Maybe you are walking the halls of your life and you feel alone. You feel like God has left you to fend for yourself. He's there, waiting on the Porch. He's patiently waiting for you to come home.
